Polarity

Photo by Erik Likes Red Studio www.eriklikesred.com

I've been thinking a lot about the meme of masculine/feminine dynamics and idea of the "necessity for polarity" in cis het male/female relationships.

More specifically, the idea some have that what makes a "successful" cisgendered heterosexual relationship is the man stepping into his "power" and assertive masculine leadership so the woman can "surrender into her femininity" and flow.

If gender is a societal construct...isn't masculinity and femininity as well?

During an amazing mushroom journey with my love, I became consciously aware of our embodiment of flowing power dynamics. After almost a year together, I've noticed how organically and smoothly we can "switch" and surrender the "captaining" to the other in the blink of an eye, without any conscious communication about it. It is truly beautiful, and also super amazing and erotic.

(switches: those who identify as both dominant and submissive/ open to switching roles- it can be a spectrum or vary based on context. For example, in your profession operating as primarily a domme; though in sex, operating primarily as a sub)

Here's my (possibly unpopular) opinion.... {you may wanna take a breath ;) }

We are ALL switches ;) No one is a dom(me) in everything they do, 100% of the time.

I made the joke to my partner the other day, we have to surrender to shit, don't we? :P

So I'm curious why it isn't more of a topic of conversation how to learn to switch with ease, since we all have to surrender leadership in moments of our lives.

So wouldn't it make more sense to help men release the shame of surrendering control, and to help women release the shame of loving to lead? Or vice versa? Or also non-binary folx and non cis het people too? How about just letting go of shame all around for all people?

How about instead of telling men how to be "masculine" and women how to be "feminine", we teach people how to embody their truest, most whole essence? How to tap into their needs and desires? How to communicate that with ease and confidence? And embody consent to it's fullest capacities? To Eliminate stereotypes of how we should be for "successful cis het relationships" with our partner and how to create a relationship by design for each individual person?

What would happen if we let go of the labels and societal constructs?

Personally that's what I'm working towards. So far it works for me and my clients :D

Just some thoughts on a Thursday :)

Thanks for reading

<3

PS- if a different mentality or methodology works for you, then great! Keep doing you boo. I encourage embodying acceptance and ownership for whatever lights you TF up xoxo

—Coach Summer Astrea
Co-Founder, Awakening Arts